The Becoming Effect

Before I met him, I thought dedication was about one thing: grinding away at a task until it was done. It felt grim.

But seeing him, I realised dedication could be... well, something even adorable. It's not just about achieving an external goal; it's somehow a tender commitment to sculpting himself. 

Each day, he's consciously refining his words, polishing his mannerisms, challenging his deeply held ideologies, expanding his perspectives, and, yes, even consciously building his social skills. It's a continuous process of becoming. And honestly? Sometimes, I find myself envious of one particular aspect: he finds profound peace in his own solace.

And it doesn't end there. He possesses this incredible blend of genuine spontaneity and sharp, logical deduction. There's a presence of mind about him that can stop you and make you think, "Ah, that's how you look at it." It's as if he operates with an internal metre stick, where every action, every thought, every word seems to have a measure, a reason behind it. And for someone like me, who always struggled to gauge my own emotional state, he unexpectedly became an emotional barometer. Where he got this ability, I still have no idea…

Meanwhile, I can't help but remember a time when ego seemed his greatest, perhaps only ally. A towering, formidable force that defined his interactions. Hahaha… those days feel like a different era!

But now? He seems like a giant standing before his ego, acknowledging its existence and perhaps even using it strategically, but no longer ruled by it. He's learned to laugh genuinely, to deal with different people with quiet confidence, and to handle challenging situations with surprising grace. Yeah, you would never believe how he used to behave with all the above-said situations earlier…

Then what? 

Yeah…he holds strong stands – political, spiritual and social– clearly defined and deeply held. And the most remarkable thing is his firm adherence to them. He doesn't sway with the winds of popular opinion. And that, that part gives me the high. Because he will always have something opposite to the popular opinion to burn your brain. And how is this happening? He remains fiercely dedicated to staying updated and sharp, within his chosen passions - politics and cinema, above all other sub-interesting segments.

Of course, it's not all smooth sailing. His temper can flare, his scorn can be sharp when he's disappointed, and beneath the surface, I know low self-esteem can sometimes wound him deeply. It visibly hurts him, and seeing that vulnerability in someone so seemingly put-together reminds me of the complexity of human nature. 

Yet, I sometimes wonder how he shines brightly within the small circles of friends he purposefully curates. How does he navigate that initial phase of almost 'hating' his buddies before settling into a deep, loyal affection around them? How does he handle envy when he sees someone embodying a quality he admires while at the same time seeking avenues to become that someone himself?

After all, he knows that he has an ocean to swim in life, and he understands that only his own tireless hands can carry him through the waves. And, I think, perhaps, he draws immense strength from the very waves that beat against his direction.

Even after three years of friendship, he continues to amaze me - how has he transformed from that fiercely egoistic man to someone who often pauses to understand the layered meaning behind actions, his own and others? Where did this profound patience come from? How does he manage to hold those two disparate personalities – the playful, almost childlike spirit and the mature man – in such balance? How did he strengthen that inner self to a point where he could break free from the rigid social norms he once clung to and grow better, bigger, and for the best?

Thank you, Jenil. 

Thank you for showing the evolution of becoming.

And yes, absolutely... we will not let the world trouble us!